Who's Responsible for the Existence of the Porn Industry?
Is it the producers or the consumers?
Recently I saw a looooong online debate (if you can call it that) between some OnlyFans models on one side and some red-pill influencers on the other.
The debate was over whose fault it was that the pornography industry exists.
The red-pillers were adamant that if all content creators would shut down their accounts tomorrow, the pornography industry and all its bad effects would cease to exist.
The OnlyFans gals were just as adamant that the industry’s existence was the fault of the men who pay for such content. If the demand didn’t exist, they wouldn’t be able to produce anything or get paid for it, they said. They didn’t see anything morally wrong with responding to an existing demand that has, in fact, existed since the beginning of human history.
The guys and the gals went round and round for 30+ minutes, each essentially blaming the other again and again.
On the one hand, it was pretty boring, because no conclusion was reached - and how could it be? It seems obvious enough that both sides are correct. Either the producers or the consumers have the collective power to terminate the industry overnight if they wanted to do so.
On the other hand, it reminded me that whenever we appear to be locked in a stalemate (moral or otherwise), we actually do have the choice and the power to change things by taking action on our end and not waiting for the other “side” to do something first.
We just don’t always see these kinds of possibilities because we are so stuck on noticing and analyzing what’s wrong with everyone else.
It’s not easy to admit, but we all have room for improvement - always.
What if we spent the majority of our time looking for and addressing what needs to be improved in our own hearts and mindsets, and the minority of our time looking for and pointing out what we think others need to improve upon?
What if, when a situation is not budging, we STARTED by asking how we can personally grow in virtue and purity of heart and intention and how that might change things if we did?
(Many will say they’ve done all they can to personally grow in a situation to influence the outcome, but as no human being is perfect, I believe there’s no such thing as having done all you can.)
In no way is this a defense of sinful actions on the part of someone else. It’s simply a recognition that we are responsible for our thoughts and actions, even if provoked or tempted.
This is also not a suggestion that we should just lie down and accept bad treatment. Jesus and the saints provide many wonderful examples of how to behave in a virtuous way in the face of horrible behavior from someone else, yet also not accept or condone the behavior.
Usually, when I talk about this subject, people come forward and volunteer all sorts of situations that they think are exceptions to what I’m saying (i.e. situations where you’ve truly done all you can and it is now acceptable to assign all of the fault to the other party).
So, let’s hear it. What situations come to mind? Comment below. (Commenting is for paying subscribers only.)
Fair warning: I’ve never actually had someone tell me about a situation where I didn’t see something else they could have done on their end to move things in a more positive direction. So, if you comment, I may reply and ask some probing questions to find out what was going on and what could have changed things. :)